I learnt a lot with the funny, direct woman from my speech. I knew I would like somebody like her. I immediately took her up on her offer to meet with me again and we met this weekend.
She showed me her house – I saw her allotment. I exclaimed how common I noticed that it was for many Japanese people to have a small allotment. How often I have been offered gifts of homegrown mandarins, or apples (or gone fruit picking myself - 3 times!).
So many families have these vegetable gardens. So often I see the orange trees in people`s gardens when I travel past houses in a car. A common sight also at this time of year, is the Kaki (persimmon) strips hanging from the houses, drying (so that they lose their sourness).
She explained to me, how the cultivating way is something deep in the Japanese consciousness – back from prehistoric times when the Japanese were all rice farmers. She talked of the difference between westerners being hunters and the Asians being a people with a greater emphasis on cultivation. How true this is I do not know. But, it does make sense to me.
The difference is clear between England and Japan certainly. Objectively there is a lot of locally produced food here in Ibaraki, and I`m sure, all over the kens of Japan.
I received gifts of apples from Yuko-sensei`s husbands family farm up in the north. My host family grow many vegetables, and Ottosan likes to go fishing for eating.
When we go on trips by road the “service stations” are farmers markets basically. There is so much local production that happens.
It doesn`t surprise me anymore to see the odd rice field in the middle of an urban settlement … but it still always makes me laugh.
Furu Koshi grows rice. Lots of older people grow rice when they have retired from their office jobs. It is not an unusual occurrence for a regular person with a office job to have a little allotment/ farm at home as well. Cultivation, on a smallscale, is done by the average person here.
In England, farmers are farmers – whether largescale operations or smaller organic operations these people live and work on their fields/ warehouses – and they are very separate from the rest of the population of the country who are not farmers, and who live in the villages/ suburbs/ towns/ cities. It is a huge difference that here in Japan, cultivating is just much more a part of the life of the general population who lives in a town (even a big town, - like Hitachi) (admittedly not the huge metropolises like Tokyo though). So many people here with ordinary town jobs also have a little farming lifestyle aswell.
I think that it is a much better way to be. It means the eating local produce is much more a natural thing here. There isn`t a big national cry to “eat local!” because it happens. People are much more connected to the growth of their food (well, vegetables and rice at least) because many people do it! It is an important part of the Japanese culture that wasn`t immediately obvious to me at first, but something that I have gradually realized, over time here.
Wednesday, 17 December 2008
The International Japanese
I have been in Japan for 4 1/2 months now. I have a good idea how most Japanese people are, how they interact etc. The problem I have, is with working out people who ARE more familiar with other cultures. I find it difficult to know how to behave, what I can and cannot talk about with them sometimes. Like Kawakami-sensei for instance. He has lived in Canada for 1 year and is therefore very familiar with western culture. There are many things he does differently from other Japanese people as a result. (In his classes, for example, his students don`t stand up and bow to him). I find him so hard to work out sometimes! And sometimes things are a bit funny (amusing) between us because I don`t really know what to expect!
Those people who are more westernized I do very much enjoy hanging out with though. I can be honest, and explain things to them in a very detailed way. (Although, I am also very honest with most people generally, because of my character).
But with the Japanese-Japanese, I can only be honest when the honesty is something that that person can relate to – that is either a cultural universal, or, something to do with Japan.
With the western-familiar Japanese, I can explain many other feelings that a Japanese person wouldn`t really understand if they hadn`t been outside of Japan – because they probably just can`t comprehend how different it is! (also, there is the significant factor that the Japanese-Japanese tend to have less good English than the internationalised Japanese, so it`s more difficult to explain from that point of view aswell).
I do enjoy being friends with both types of Japanese person though, definitely. As sometimes, the western Japanese can be a bit denigrative of certain aspects of Japanese culture (eg – Midorikawa-senssi: “I hate tea ceremony – it tastes so bitter!”. And sometimes I love it the Japanese-Japanese love to tell me about Japan, and I love to tell them what good aspects of Japan are new for me.
But, I do particularly enjoy being with the internationalized Japanese primarily, simply because they can relate to this life-changing experience I am having, living in a completely different culture.
Some international-Japanese people are so knowledgeable about western ways and western culture (due to a strong interest) that when talking to a western person, they want to try and adapt to the western way so much (to make the westerner feel comfortable I guess?!), that they almost have unrecognizable behavior for a Japanese person!
An example is the woman who sat in the front row of my speech. She was obviously very keen, and confident. She was so direct in her conversation – suggesting we should meet again, very quickly. So, I was surprised. But then I recovered myself quickly, and returned to her, equally direct conversation: “how about this weekend?” I think even she was surprised about the directness and immediacy of that! (That kind of directness is unusual for me – I wouldn`t be quite like that in England, but in Japan, in this country where you only meet people fleetingly, you have to take action to make friends. You have to be like this to make your connections here).
Anyway, the weekend was decided, and the characteristically UN-Japanese directness from her continued: “Lets meet, 12 o`clock, Mito station, south exit. OK?”. No voicing of the word “maybe” to be heard anywhere!! The lack of the word maybe in ANY conversation with a Japanese person is absolutely UNHEARD of usually.
She was so un-Japanese, in so many ways that I was laughing. But then, at the Kenya talk we attended, with all the other Japanese people in the room, I did notice her bowing profusely (as I do these days) as she met/ left people. I was reassured. She was in fact Japanese, … and not some kind of imposter!
Those people who are more westernized I do very much enjoy hanging out with though. I can be honest, and explain things to them in a very detailed way. (Although, I am also very honest with most people generally, because of my character).
But with the Japanese-Japanese, I can only be honest when the honesty is something that that person can relate to – that is either a cultural universal, or, something to do with Japan.
With the western-familiar Japanese, I can explain many other feelings that a Japanese person wouldn`t really understand if they hadn`t been outside of Japan – because they probably just can`t comprehend how different it is! (also, there is the significant factor that the Japanese-Japanese tend to have less good English than the internationalised Japanese, so it`s more difficult to explain from that point of view aswell).
I do enjoy being friends with both types of Japanese person though, definitely. As sometimes, the western Japanese can be a bit denigrative of certain aspects of Japanese culture (eg – Midorikawa-senssi: “I hate tea ceremony – it tastes so bitter!”. And sometimes I love it the Japanese-Japanese love to tell me about Japan, and I love to tell them what good aspects of Japan are new for me.
But, I do particularly enjoy being with the internationalized Japanese primarily, simply because they can relate to this life-changing experience I am having, living in a completely different culture.
Some international-Japanese people are so knowledgeable about western ways and western culture (due to a strong interest) that when talking to a western person, they want to try and adapt to the western way so much (to make the westerner feel comfortable I guess?!), that they almost have unrecognizable behavior for a Japanese person!
An example is the woman who sat in the front row of my speech. She was obviously very keen, and confident. She was so direct in her conversation – suggesting we should meet again, very quickly. So, I was surprised. But then I recovered myself quickly, and returned to her, equally direct conversation: “how about this weekend?” I think even she was surprised about the directness and immediacy of that! (That kind of directness is unusual for me – I wouldn`t be quite like that in England, but in Japan, in this country where you only meet people fleetingly, you have to take action to make friends. You have to be like this to make your connections here).
Anyway, the weekend was decided, and the characteristically UN-Japanese directness from her continued: “Lets meet, 12 o`clock, Mito station, south exit. OK?”. No voicing of the word “maybe” to be heard anywhere!! The lack of the word maybe in ANY conversation with a Japanese person is absolutely UNHEARD of usually.
She was so un-Japanese, in so many ways that I was laughing. But then, at the Kenya talk we attended, with all the other Japanese people in the room, I did notice her bowing profusely (as I do these days) as she met/ left people. I was reassured. She was in fact Japanese, … and not some kind of imposter!
Other Asia
It is always surprising, and unnerving to meet other Asian (non-Japanese) people here in Japan. I feel like this because the cultural difference really is significant. They don`t behave in the Japanese way that I am used to. It is as if I am culturally shocked when I meet them. In some cases I also feel really awkward when I see them interacting with Japanese people.
I think that many Japanese people (particularly those who don`t often mix with people from other cultures and who arn`t familiar with how other cultures are) must find dealing with people who LOOK so similar to them – but who behave and interact so differently must be very confusing for them.
I often think that Japanese people must find it easier to deal with western foreigners in a way. Because of the media in which western culture is the most dominant exported external culture, because of English lessons in schools, Japanese people are much more familiar with western culture compared to different asian cultures. They have their sterotypes. In many ways broadly true (if ignorant of the subtler aspects and differences between western cultures). But, they know to expect we are more direct, for example.
But to meet other Asians who behave in different ways must be strange. I`ll take the example of the Malaysian teacher who came with his student on the exchange visit. I was at the nabe party with him. And I found it SO STRANGE to be talking so frankly and directly with someone, across the table. We were talking about education, and the excessively hard-working nature of the Japanese – so not exactly a totally positive conversation about Japan. This man appeared not to have any reserve or embarrassment given the situation we were in – a formal party in the vice-principal`s house. He just kept on talking to me!
He was just so direct, and open. I was so unused to this coming from an Asian person that I was really shocked! (although perhaps Malaysia is a special case, being an EXTREMELY multicultural country itself).
The behavior of the younger Malaysian student also surprised me when upon noticing the wall hanging of Chinese characters (the wall hanging in the corner of the special tatami room that all Japanese homes seem to contain, where there is an alcove and several beautiful Japanese/ Chinese style objects and artworks are on display – sort of in the manner of a small shrine I suppose). Anyway, on recognizing the characters in the wall hanging as a song she knew, she immediately jumped up from the floor and volunteered herself to sing. The self-volunteering and the immediacy of the whole thing was just something I was wholly unused to.
The presence of this almost dominant Malaysian character did seem to make the Japanese people around the table shrink back a little. Perhaps this was due to the language being English so naturally they were less confident in their speaking ability. But, it was noticeable that they weren`t so involved then, and I felt a bit uncomfortable. Perhaps, it was because of the directness of us. Japanese people are definitely used to more indirect conversation – and certainly in formal parties like this one. Of course, it`s completely wrong to say all Japanese are shy and indirect all the time, because they can be loud and brash definitely (particularly when drunk!) but, I think maybe they just couldn`t relax in this unusual situation for them, where there was an equal number of foreigners and Japanese people.
The awkwardness of cross-cultural interaction does depend hugely on the personalities of the host and visitor involved. I like to think that I am quite sensitive culturally, and I can pick up on things (though, saying that, I`m sure I miss out on a huge amount of non-verbal (well … and verbal!) messages from Japanese interactions). But I try to be as sensitive and forth-guessing (??) as I can. I felt the awkwardness that the Malaysian person made the Japanese sometimes, with his directness.
But when people from foreign cultures are more familiar with the Japanese and how they are, how they interact, what they do and don`t like, then cross asian cultural interaction is naturally more easy.
When the Laotians came to cook … (sounds like the start of a story!) But when the Laotians came to cook, was a great day. For one, they have fantastic food. They came to run a cooking class for students at Tokai High School. It was as an English lesson, as the Laotians speak English and not Japanese.
It was interesting for me to meet them aswell. It was at a time that I was frustrated with Japan, and I found it SO refreshing to talk to people who were more direct, and where there was not so much unnecessary sweetness 8as does tend to occur with Japanese women). I found them to be relaxed and chilled, jokey – not something you always get when first meeting Japanese people in a work setting. I was so happy to be with them (and eat their spicy, exciting, food) for an hour that day.
Being in company with the Laotians and the Japanese together was easier. And it`s because these people have been living in Japan for a year or so now. They`ve been studying here. They`re familiar with how Japanese people behave, so they can adjust their behavior accordingly. And that`s what I do, now that I`ve been here for 4 1/2 months. And that`s how I can get on with many different people here.
I don`t want to give the impression that I encounter non-Japanese people all the time, because that is CERTAINLY not the case. A more accurate explanation of this long post, is that these are all the instances, described in detail, of my meetings with non-Japanese Asians during my whole time here!
Japanese peculiarities, I have become accustomed to now, and although I am occasionally shocked when certain international Japanese people do something/ interact in some way, that is not characteristically Japanese, this shock is NOTHING compared to dealing with other non-western people in Japan, which is a whole, other preverbial kettle of fish.
Dealing with “my particular brand of Asian”, as a fellow JET (of Indian descent) put it, is a big chunk of hilarity for me. I just don`t know what to do with myself! My encounter with a person from south Asia was in an all-you-can-eat Indian restaurant – Spicy Tandoori. On entering a restaurant in Japan you always, ALWAYS bow to the person who greets you. But I just didn`t know what to do with myself with these Indians!! I did some kind of strange sideways sway, and shuffled off quickly.
But, I really didn`t know what to do, and I still don`t. Bowing is such a Japanese thing (other East Asians bow in a different way). I`d never do it to a fellow westerner, but an Indian? Do they bow?? I was wondering, later on, if whether they spoke Japanese would come into the question. But even if they did, I don`t think that would help me know what to do.
There is so much confusion for me surrounding other Asia in Japan.
I think that many Japanese people (particularly those who don`t often mix with people from other cultures and who arn`t familiar with how other cultures are) must find dealing with people who LOOK so similar to them – but who behave and interact so differently must be very confusing for them.
I often think that Japanese people must find it easier to deal with western foreigners in a way. Because of the media in which western culture is the most dominant exported external culture, because of English lessons in schools, Japanese people are much more familiar with western culture compared to different asian cultures. They have their sterotypes. In many ways broadly true (if ignorant of the subtler aspects and differences between western cultures). But, they know to expect we are more direct, for example.
But to meet other Asians who behave in different ways must be strange. I`ll take the example of the Malaysian teacher who came with his student on the exchange visit. I was at the nabe party with him. And I found it SO STRANGE to be talking so frankly and directly with someone, across the table. We were talking about education, and the excessively hard-working nature of the Japanese – so not exactly a totally positive conversation about Japan. This man appeared not to have any reserve or embarrassment given the situation we were in – a formal party in the vice-principal`s house. He just kept on talking to me!
He was just so direct, and open. I was so unused to this coming from an Asian person that I was really shocked! (although perhaps Malaysia is a special case, being an EXTREMELY multicultural country itself).
The behavior of the younger Malaysian student also surprised me when upon noticing the wall hanging of Chinese characters (the wall hanging in the corner of the special tatami room that all Japanese homes seem to contain, where there is an alcove and several beautiful Japanese/ Chinese style objects and artworks are on display – sort of in the manner of a small shrine I suppose). Anyway, on recognizing the characters in the wall hanging as a song she knew, she immediately jumped up from the floor and volunteered herself to sing. The self-volunteering and the immediacy of the whole thing was just something I was wholly unused to.
The presence of this almost dominant Malaysian character did seem to make the Japanese people around the table shrink back a little. Perhaps this was due to the language being English so naturally they were less confident in their speaking ability. But, it was noticeable that they weren`t so involved then, and I felt a bit uncomfortable. Perhaps, it was because of the directness of us. Japanese people are definitely used to more indirect conversation – and certainly in formal parties like this one. Of course, it`s completely wrong to say all Japanese are shy and indirect all the time, because they can be loud and brash definitely (particularly when drunk!) but, I think maybe they just couldn`t relax in this unusual situation for them, where there was an equal number of foreigners and Japanese people.
The awkwardness of cross-cultural interaction does depend hugely on the personalities of the host and visitor involved. I like to think that I am quite sensitive culturally, and I can pick up on things (though, saying that, I`m sure I miss out on a huge amount of non-verbal (well … and verbal!) messages from Japanese interactions). But I try to be as sensitive and forth-guessing (??) as I can. I felt the awkwardness that the Malaysian person made the Japanese sometimes, with his directness.
But when people from foreign cultures are more familiar with the Japanese and how they are, how they interact, what they do and don`t like, then cross asian cultural interaction is naturally more easy.
When the Laotians came to cook … (sounds like the start of a story!) But when the Laotians came to cook, was a great day. For one, they have fantastic food. They came to run a cooking class for students at Tokai High School. It was as an English lesson, as the Laotians speak English and not Japanese.
It was interesting for me to meet them aswell. It was at a time that I was frustrated with Japan, and I found it SO refreshing to talk to people who were more direct, and where there was not so much unnecessary sweetness 8as does tend to occur with Japanese women). I found them to be relaxed and chilled, jokey – not something you always get when first meeting Japanese people in a work setting. I was so happy to be with them (and eat their spicy, exciting, food) for an hour that day.
Being in company with the Laotians and the Japanese together was easier. And it`s because these people have been living in Japan for a year or so now. They`ve been studying here. They`re familiar with how Japanese people behave, so they can adjust their behavior accordingly. And that`s what I do, now that I`ve been here for 4 1/2 months. And that`s how I can get on with many different people here.
I don`t want to give the impression that I encounter non-Japanese people all the time, because that is CERTAINLY not the case. A more accurate explanation of this long post, is that these are all the instances, described in detail, of my meetings with non-Japanese Asians during my whole time here!
Japanese peculiarities, I have become accustomed to now, and although I am occasionally shocked when certain international Japanese people do something/ interact in some way, that is not characteristically Japanese, this shock is NOTHING compared to dealing with other non-western people in Japan, which is a whole, other preverbial kettle of fish.
Dealing with “my particular brand of Asian”, as a fellow JET (of Indian descent) put it, is a big chunk of hilarity for me. I just don`t know what to do with myself! My encounter with a person from south Asia was in an all-you-can-eat Indian restaurant – Spicy Tandoori. On entering a restaurant in Japan you always, ALWAYS bow to the person who greets you. But I just didn`t know what to do with myself with these Indians!! I did some kind of strange sideways sway, and shuffled off quickly.
But, I really didn`t know what to do, and I still don`t. Bowing is such a Japanese thing (other East Asians bow in a different way). I`d never do it to a fellow westerner, but an Indian? Do they bow?? I was wondering, later on, if whether they spoke Japanese would come into the question. But even if they did, I don`t think that would help me know what to do.
There is so much confusion for me surrounding other Asia in Japan.
Monday, 8 December 2008
Kawai Culture
Culture is my interest. Talking about my culture, finding out about their culture, and the psychology of it too – that`s all fascinating to me.
I don`t speak Japanese and by result of this fact, the people I meet and make friends with are the ones that speak English. Usually these are the peoplewho are interested in cultures too – that`s why they want to learn. And obviously the people who like to come to events like the world culture seminar, certainly are those who are interested to learn about new cultures, who want to share cultures.
As a significant side point to note, the vast majority of this group of people that I have just been classifying, are middle-aged to old women.
I tend to meet a lot of these women. They tend to befriend me. I am interested in them because I love to find out more about the Japanese culture. (Though it does get a little out of control at times – the bombardment of questions during teatime after my speech was quite overwhelming, as one example).
I have been reliably informed that I am very attractive to women like this. They see me as the polite English girl. Absolutely typical of their image of my culture – and that is why they love to meet me, and befriend me. I don`t mind it. I like to meet women who are interested, like me, in sharing information about cultural differences. Though sometimes it does get a little out of control with multiple clashing invitations of lunch dates with old women!
But, it is just brilliant in many other ways, because these women like to share their culture just as I do … and I love to learn about their culture. Sometimes they tell me explicit new things (like what Japanese people do for New Year – decorate their front gate, and make a special Mochi rice cake, and what they eat for breakfast – rice and natto). But, other times they tell me nothing new. We talk about things that I have already observed, but they explain why those things are like that/ done like that. Sometimes, they mention things that I have observed unconsciously but never really thought about as something different or significant in itself.
One conversation, it was as if she had invented a new phrase – but it fitted so perfectly to what I had been unconsciously noticing, but without properly realizing: Kawai Culture. I hadn`t heard it before … but it is so true.
Kawai translates into English as “cute”. Girls and women in Japan, as a generalized rule like everything Kawai. They are Kawai. They strive to be Kawai. Females like everything pink, and young, and cute. As winter has been approaching so the baby blankets which the Japanese girls wear to keep their legs warm are coming out. These are 15-16-17-18 year old girls – with really baby blankets. I was quite surprised. But, that`s what it is – kawai culture exactly.
I wonder if boys like girls who are kawai. I wonder where it comes from, this urge to be small, little, cute and pink. Hello Kitty as well – the alternative national symbol of Japan! Kawai culture. It is everywhere here.
And Kawai culture doesn`t stop with teenage girls. Japanese women are Kawai aswell. My supervisor – probably aged 40 ish (but you never can tell …) – she has a bright pink phone and a pale pink, girly lunchbox. The 40 year old woman I have English conversation practice with is similarly cute and pink in her tastes for things. Her Home Economics room is very girly. You wouldn`t really see many middle aged women like this outside of Japan I don`t think.
Perhaps it is bound up with an urge to look childlike. I wonder if that is in fashion. Certainly, everyone in Japan always looks younger than their years. Maybe this is due to genetics, but also due to the fact that many women do wear young fashions.
Something that struck me in my class this afternoon was the immaturity of Japanese students. Perhaps this is all related as well. This was a class of 15-16 year olds, and yet I realized I was talking to them as if they were 12-13, or 11 even! I always am like this towards them. And it is normal – that is how they are. That is how they want to be talked to. They are immature, and I wonder if this is all bound together with the Kawai, cute, young culture.
I was particularly struck by this immaturity in this lesson because of the presence of the Australian exchange student. She was much more as I would expect a 15-16 year old to be. It made me realize that when I teach, I often forget the age of the students. I realize that I often teach as if I am teaching a class of 12-13 year olds – because that is how they behave! That is how they are! Immature, and the girls kawai aswell.
I wonder where this urge to be young, cute, small, childlike and kawai comes from. It is distinctively Japanese. I can`t think of other countries where physical immaturity like this is an ideal.
I don`t speak Japanese and by result of this fact, the people I meet and make friends with are the ones that speak English. Usually these are the peoplewho are interested in cultures too – that`s why they want to learn. And obviously the people who like to come to events like the world culture seminar, certainly are those who are interested to learn about new cultures, who want to share cultures.
As a significant side point to note, the vast majority of this group of people that I have just been classifying, are middle-aged to old women.
I tend to meet a lot of these women. They tend to befriend me. I am interested in them because I love to find out more about the Japanese culture. (Though it does get a little out of control at times – the bombardment of questions during teatime after my speech was quite overwhelming, as one example).
I have been reliably informed that I am very attractive to women like this. They see me as the polite English girl. Absolutely typical of their image of my culture – and that is why they love to meet me, and befriend me. I don`t mind it. I like to meet women who are interested, like me, in sharing information about cultural differences. Though sometimes it does get a little out of control with multiple clashing invitations of lunch dates with old women!
But, it is just brilliant in many other ways, because these women like to share their culture just as I do … and I love to learn about their culture. Sometimes they tell me explicit new things (like what Japanese people do for New Year – decorate their front gate, and make a special Mochi rice cake, and what they eat for breakfast – rice and natto). But, other times they tell me nothing new. We talk about things that I have already observed, but they explain why those things are like that/ done like that. Sometimes, they mention things that I have observed unconsciously but never really thought about as something different or significant in itself.
One conversation, it was as if she had invented a new phrase – but it fitted so perfectly to what I had been unconsciously noticing, but without properly realizing: Kawai Culture. I hadn`t heard it before … but it is so true.
Kawai translates into English as “cute”. Girls and women in Japan, as a generalized rule like everything Kawai. They are Kawai. They strive to be Kawai. Females like everything pink, and young, and cute. As winter has been approaching so the baby blankets which the Japanese girls wear to keep their legs warm are coming out. These are 15-16-17-18 year old girls – with really baby blankets. I was quite surprised. But, that`s what it is – kawai culture exactly.
I wonder if boys like girls who are kawai. I wonder where it comes from, this urge to be small, little, cute and pink. Hello Kitty as well – the alternative national symbol of Japan! Kawai culture. It is everywhere here.
And Kawai culture doesn`t stop with teenage girls. Japanese women are Kawai aswell. My supervisor – probably aged 40 ish (but you never can tell …) – she has a bright pink phone and a pale pink, girly lunchbox. The 40 year old woman I have English conversation practice with is similarly cute and pink in her tastes for things. Her Home Economics room is very girly. You wouldn`t really see many middle aged women like this outside of Japan I don`t think.
Perhaps it is bound up with an urge to look childlike. I wonder if that is in fashion. Certainly, everyone in Japan always looks younger than their years. Maybe this is due to genetics, but also due to the fact that many women do wear young fashions.
Something that struck me in my class this afternoon was the immaturity of Japanese students. Perhaps this is all related as well. This was a class of 15-16 year olds, and yet I realized I was talking to them as if they were 12-13, or 11 even! I always am like this towards them. And it is normal – that is how they are. That is how they want to be talked to. They are immature, and I wonder if this is all bound together with the Kawai, cute, young culture.
I was particularly struck by this immaturity in this lesson because of the presence of the Australian exchange student. She was much more as I would expect a 15-16 year old to be. It made me realize that when I teach, I often forget the age of the students. I realize that I often teach as if I am teaching a class of 12-13 year olds – because that is how they behave! That is how they are! Immature, and the girls kawai aswell.
I wonder where this urge to be young, cute, small, childlike and kawai comes from. It is distinctively Japanese. I can`t think of other countries where physical immaturity like this is an ideal.
Hidden Europe: the mountain villages of northern Albania
Having meaning in my day-to-day life is something that focuses my mind and my energy and gets me back feeling good. Recently that meaning has been created by my speech for the World Culture Seminar in Mito. I have been working on this speech since the beginning of my time here and I am thrilled that it was a great success, and I feel, a real personal achievement for me.
I do feel that this year has changed me in so many positive ways. And I`m sure I haven`t realized all of these ways yet. I feel confident in my life, I know much more now what I want to do (career-wise), what I am interested in, what my abilities are.
And I don`t have a problem with public speaking. I have never been a public speaker in my life. But, speaking to a class of students doesn`t faze me. And neither did the speech to the World Culture Seminar group. Perhaps it was because I was allowed to sit down, and it was a relatively informal atmosphere. But I spoke for about 1 hour and a half on my subject. I`m still surprised at myself really. Trying to imagine myself doing this in England.
Being in Japan has helped me to articulate myself better too. People have commented that they find it easy to understand my English. Before I left, I`d often be criticised for mumbling so perhaps as a result of this year in Japan, that has become a thing of the past.
I have noticed that I am more sure of myself when I speak, I do articulate myself better. Being in Japan has helped me to express myself more clearly (because I have to) and articulate myself better, and perhaps to become a better public speaker.
But, I think my enthusiasm for the topic was definitely a key reason for the success of the speech. But, to have such an enthusiasm itself is something relatively new for me! A few years ago I had no passion for anything in particular. Now, to be so interested in the subject of my speech helped me to articulate the topic well. I am so pleased that the year in Japan has had this effect to improve my communication skills and my confidence in myself and who I am. ….. what a cliché – to go round the world to discover yourself. …but there seems to be a thread of truth in my case.
I do feel that this year has changed me in so many positive ways. And I`m sure I haven`t realized all of these ways yet. I feel confident in my life, I know much more now what I want to do (career-wise), what I am interested in, what my abilities are.
And I don`t have a problem with public speaking. I have never been a public speaker in my life. But, speaking to a class of students doesn`t faze me. And neither did the speech to the World Culture Seminar group. Perhaps it was because I was allowed to sit down, and it was a relatively informal atmosphere. But I spoke for about 1 hour and a half on my subject. I`m still surprised at myself really. Trying to imagine myself doing this in England.
Being in Japan has helped me to articulate myself better too. People have commented that they find it easy to understand my English. Before I left, I`d often be criticised for mumbling so perhaps as a result of this year in Japan, that has become a thing of the past.
I have noticed that I am more sure of myself when I speak, I do articulate myself better. Being in Japan has helped me to express myself more clearly (because I have to) and articulate myself better, and perhaps to become a better public speaker.
But, I think my enthusiasm for the topic was definitely a key reason for the success of the speech. But, to have such an enthusiasm itself is something relatively new for me! A few years ago I had no passion for anything in particular. Now, to be so interested in the subject of my speech helped me to articulate the topic well. I am so pleased that the year in Japan has had this effect to improve my communication skills and my confidence in myself and who I am. ….. what a cliché – to go round the world to discover yourself. …but there seems to be a thread of truth in my case.
Push Factors
My decision to leave was sudden, and my initial investigation of the flight WAS directly due to an aspect of Japan that I hate, which I experienced last weekend.
There are so many things that I love about Japan. But of the things I hate, everything surrounding the holiday-making habits of the Japanese ranks pretty highly. The reasoning behind the horrific tourist phenomenon that I experienced last weekend goes roughly like this, I think:
In every Japanese workplace there is a strong work ethic. It looks bad if you take lots holiday (meaning take more than half of your yearly holiday allowance, or, take that half holiday allowance all at once – rather than odd days here an there). – The only time when it is legitimately acceptable to take holiday is on the specified national holiday days. (as a side point Japan does have a lot of national holidays – possibly relating to the prevention of national insanity by making people take time off).
Another significant point relevant to the analysis of my bad weekend is the Japanese national enthusiasm for their four seasons. The number of times I have conversations about the beautiful autumn leaves, or the incredible spring cherry blossom, is some absolute astronomical figure. Continuously, I am recommended to go to places at this time, because the autumn leaves will be at their most magnificent, or at this time because of the ultimate cherry blossom. TV channels make predictions of where the best blossom flowers will be as the weeks roll by, and the weather changes from north to south. Autumn leaves viewing, and cherry blossom viewing is a very popular pastime for many Japanese people, so naturally most people know which weekend is the best time to visit particular places to enjoy the beauty.
And therein lies the problem. Hakone is a popular tourist site. I knew that, - a great view of Mt. Fuji, a nice lake, nice nature, (and beautiful autumn leaves at this time of year of course). The weekend we chose to travel to Hakone was a national holiday weekend, in autumn. Error, ERROR. Everyone knows Hakone has beautiful autumn leaves now. Everyone is set free from work because it is a national holiday weekend. So they all go to the SAME beautiful places, at the SAME time.
Tourism on bank holidays is always going to be busy, whichever country you are in, but it is so much more extreme in Japan.
Problem 1 – there was a problem with our hotel booking, and it turned out we didn`t have one. Therefore, the activities we had planned for 3 days originally had to be packed into 1 day. Before, I came to Hakone this already didn`t sound like my idea of a relaxing weekend because I like to have to time to explore, stop and enjoy. And not be a standard tourist following the set route, taking the obligatory photos as and when.
But that was only the tip of the preverbial iceberg. After finally arriving in Hakone at 12 o`clock, after waiting for everyone not turning up on time, and losing people, waiting for smokers to have their cigarettes in the designated smoking squares on the street (you can`t smoke in the street in Japan). (I`m never traveling in a group of 14 again by the way), we stepped off the train.
We stepped off the train into a swarm of human bodies. There were crowds and crowds of people EVERYWHERE. Turned out we had to join the hour long queue of people going out of the station to come back into the station to get on the cram packed train which was taking people up the mountain.
In places like Hakone, where there are set sites to see there are free pass tickets you can by. To do the route of sight-seeing that gets all the important sights in. It is how I hate to be a tourist. No chance to be independent. No chance to explore on your own. Just join the queue, join the crowds of commuters who are moving around the sites like zombies. Horrific. I saw no beauty in Hakone that day. I was in a queue for the whole day. It was fantastic weather outside. And I`m sure the autumn leaves were beautiful if I could have seen them, beyond all the human heads and bodies crushed next to me, beyond the concrete walls and barriers of the building I was standing inside on this beautiful day.
After 2 more hours in queues, by 2 o`clock we had been on the train and got some distance up the mountain, but we were getting really hungry. I wanted a good meal not just some rice ball or newsagent snack.
Unbelievably to me, there was only on restaurant in this people swarmed place. So, guess what – we stepped out of our place in the set route queue – and joined another one! – to get into the restaurant! It was nearing 4 o`clock by the time we were done in the restaurant.
And the sun was on it`s way down – oh yes. I kid you not. We would finally reach the destination of one of the sights in Hakone and we wouldn`t bloody be able to see it because it would be dark!
As it goes, we did have a stroke of luck (which was rather overdue this weekend). We did travel on the ropeway at the time of the sunset, giving us a fabulous view of Mt. Fuji with the sun setting around it. Stunning. Of course, everybody was viewing this through the LCD screens of their cameras (will they remember actually being there??? Another problem of tourists everywhere). My camera was broken. But I hope I will remember that view for a long time because it was amazing.
That was the one highlight of a bad trip. We had to skip other aspects of our free pass due to lack of time to complete everything (no chance to fry an egg on the hot volcanic ground!). So quickly back in the queue for us. The view from the lake of Fuji is also said be be incredible, but by the time we made the last boat of the day Hakone was in darkness.
The whole trip was just ridiculous. I wonder how many Japanese enjoy their holiday time like that.
SO, all in all, in returning from Hakone to think about my Christmas plans, I came back thinking, there is NO WAY I want to be near any tourist site in Japan during a period of national holiday time. That`s why I decided to go home! The best place to have a relaxing holiday. Because, a holiday like Hakone, or even a milder version of – would not be relaxing.
There are so many things that I love about Japan. But of the things I hate, everything surrounding the holiday-making habits of the Japanese ranks pretty highly. The reasoning behind the horrific tourist phenomenon that I experienced last weekend goes roughly like this, I think:
In every Japanese workplace there is a strong work ethic. It looks bad if you take lots holiday (meaning take more than half of your yearly holiday allowance, or, take that half holiday allowance all at once – rather than odd days here an there). – The only time when it is legitimately acceptable to take holiday is on the specified national holiday days. (as a side point Japan does have a lot of national holidays – possibly relating to the prevention of national insanity by making people take time off).
Another significant point relevant to the analysis of my bad weekend is the Japanese national enthusiasm for their four seasons. The number of times I have conversations about the beautiful autumn leaves, or the incredible spring cherry blossom, is some absolute astronomical figure. Continuously, I am recommended to go to places at this time, because the autumn leaves will be at their most magnificent, or at this time because of the ultimate cherry blossom. TV channels make predictions of where the best blossom flowers will be as the weeks roll by, and the weather changes from north to south. Autumn leaves viewing, and cherry blossom viewing is a very popular pastime for many Japanese people, so naturally most people know which weekend is the best time to visit particular places to enjoy the beauty.
And therein lies the problem. Hakone is a popular tourist site. I knew that, - a great view of Mt. Fuji, a nice lake, nice nature, (and beautiful autumn leaves at this time of year of course). The weekend we chose to travel to Hakone was a national holiday weekend, in autumn. Error, ERROR. Everyone knows Hakone has beautiful autumn leaves now. Everyone is set free from work because it is a national holiday weekend. So they all go to the SAME beautiful places, at the SAME time.
Tourism on bank holidays is always going to be busy, whichever country you are in, but it is so much more extreme in Japan.
Problem 1 – there was a problem with our hotel booking, and it turned out we didn`t have one. Therefore, the activities we had planned for 3 days originally had to be packed into 1 day. Before, I came to Hakone this already didn`t sound like my idea of a relaxing weekend because I like to have to time to explore, stop and enjoy. And not be a standard tourist following the set route, taking the obligatory photos as and when.
But that was only the tip of the preverbial iceberg. After finally arriving in Hakone at 12 o`clock, after waiting for everyone not turning up on time, and losing people, waiting for smokers to have their cigarettes in the designated smoking squares on the street (you can`t smoke in the street in Japan). (I`m never traveling in a group of 14 again by the way), we stepped off the train.
We stepped off the train into a swarm of human bodies. There were crowds and crowds of people EVERYWHERE. Turned out we had to join the hour long queue of people going out of the station to come back into the station to get on the cram packed train which was taking people up the mountain.
In places like Hakone, where there are set sites to see there are free pass tickets you can by. To do the route of sight-seeing that gets all the important sights in. It is how I hate to be a tourist. No chance to be independent. No chance to explore on your own. Just join the queue, join the crowds of commuters who are moving around the sites like zombies. Horrific. I saw no beauty in Hakone that day. I was in a queue for the whole day. It was fantastic weather outside. And I`m sure the autumn leaves were beautiful if I could have seen them, beyond all the human heads and bodies crushed next to me, beyond the concrete walls and barriers of the building I was standing inside on this beautiful day.
After 2 more hours in queues, by 2 o`clock we had been on the train and got some distance up the mountain, but we were getting really hungry. I wanted a good meal not just some rice ball or newsagent snack.
Unbelievably to me, there was only on restaurant in this people swarmed place. So, guess what – we stepped out of our place in the set route queue – and joined another one! – to get into the restaurant! It was nearing 4 o`clock by the time we were done in the restaurant.
And the sun was on it`s way down – oh yes. I kid you not. We would finally reach the destination of one of the sights in Hakone and we wouldn`t bloody be able to see it because it would be dark!
As it goes, we did have a stroke of luck (which was rather overdue this weekend). We did travel on the ropeway at the time of the sunset, giving us a fabulous view of Mt. Fuji with the sun setting around it. Stunning. Of course, everybody was viewing this through the LCD screens of their cameras (will they remember actually being there??? Another problem of tourists everywhere). My camera was broken. But I hope I will remember that view for a long time because it was amazing.
That was the one highlight of a bad trip. We had to skip other aspects of our free pass due to lack of time to complete everything (no chance to fry an egg on the hot volcanic ground!). So quickly back in the queue for us. The view from the lake of Fuji is also said be be incredible, but by the time we made the last boat of the day Hakone was in darkness.
The whole trip was just ridiculous. I wonder how many Japanese enjoy their holiday time like that.
SO, all in all, in returning from Hakone to think about my Christmas plans, I came back thinking, there is NO WAY I want to be near any tourist site in Japan during a period of national holiday time. That`s why I decided to go home! The best place to have a relaxing holiday. Because, a holiday like Hakone, or even a milder version of – would not be relaxing.
A Sudden Change of Direction
Well, a sudden change of feeling, a dramatic change of direction, and a big movement of cash, and I`m off home for Christmas in 3 weeks.
Up until the last couple of weeks I was brilliantly happy in Japan, and in a secure way. My job, and the other related aspects to being an ALT here is fulfilling. My social life was active, and I was thriving in my complete independence from my English friends and family.
When I signed the acceptance slip of my job offer from JET I knew full well the chanllenge of total independence from family support would be the biggest challenge to meet. I pushed myself to independence – that`s what I always want. That`s what I always view as an ultimate human achievement of human life. To push yourself to be able to survive completely alone in a foreign country. And I`ve done it. I`ve done it for 4 months here.
But I find myself questioning why I strive for this extreme independence all the time. At the end of the day (literally, too), I am on my own. Human beings are social animals. We are meant to form relationships with each other – that`s the real meaning in my existence. I am not in a relationship so the most important links are with my family. And here I am, the other side of the world, nearly as far away as I can be from the most significant relationships in my life at the moment.
My reasoning for my current independence is obviously not completely unfounded. I did definitely really want to come here. It is good to be able to know that you can rely on yourself. That you can survive and look after yourself. That you won`t fall apart if you don`t have your family and your friends around you for support. And because of this experience I have proved to myself that I can do that.
But, people shouldn`t just survive. They should live, and have meaning in their lives. If it just becomes survival through the days - just to prove a point, that you ae strong, and you can survive on your own, then that`s just ridiculous and pointless.
This is definitely not to say, things have got so bad to the extent I am just surviving here, which I am definitely not. As I said I find a lot to stimulate me in my job, (not so much the language teaching, but the opportunity to share my culture is something I find very rewarding).
However, it is the relationships that are a difficulty. Making friends takes timead obviously not everyone you meet at the beginning is such a good friend as you thought they were. People adjust their personalities to a common norm at the beginning – it`s natural of course – to get along with each other. I`m not complaining, I am just wanting something that is not here/ I haven`t found yet.
You need energy to stay in the social loop, energy to not fall out and not miss out on future events. I realise that, and I must keep my energy up.
I`ve concluded from my endless thinking about the meanings in my life, that I have decided to go go home for Christmas. It is starting to feel a terribly long time without my family. I can`t wait to see them – there is so much you miss out on, not being in physical presence with a person, and it is something I feel that I am increasingly missing.
Once the intial serious thought of going home first entered my mind as a serious possibility I think that opened a small gate in my brain that I had been keeping shut, as a “staying happy and on top of life” mechanism. It allowed me to fell, actually, yes, I really do want to be at home now. I don`t know if these feelings had been there for longer, but if I had been thinking them before I didn`t register it. And a good job too because I wouldn`t have enjoyed myself in Japan as much as I have done because half of my mind would have been in England.
Occasionally I feel as though it is giving up, to go home for Christmas. But the very fact I use that very language says something in itself. Giving up on what?? Giving up struggling alone?? If I got to that stage on non-enjoyment there is no point. Whay force myself not to be with my family when that is where Iwant to be?? Why take the difficult path? Should enjoy my relationships, and be with the people I want to be with.
Discovering other cultures is something I am diefinitely keen on, and is a passion of mine, but extended periods of life without people who are important to you is nothing, (or at least unnecessarily difficult).
I might well be idolising home. And of course, I probably am. Of course, Mum and Dad and E and J frustrate me.But, I am happy that I now have a definite plan to go home for Christmas. :-)
Up until the last couple of weeks I was brilliantly happy in Japan, and in a secure way. My job, and the other related aspects to being an ALT here is fulfilling. My social life was active, and I was thriving in my complete independence from my English friends and family.
When I signed the acceptance slip of my job offer from JET I knew full well the chanllenge of total independence from family support would be the biggest challenge to meet. I pushed myself to independence – that`s what I always want. That`s what I always view as an ultimate human achievement of human life. To push yourself to be able to survive completely alone in a foreign country. And I`ve done it. I`ve done it for 4 months here.
But I find myself questioning why I strive for this extreme independence all the time. At the end of the day (literally, too), I am on my own. Human beings are social animals. We are meant to form relationships with each other – that`s the real meaning in my existence. I am not in a relationship so the most important links are with my family. And here I am, the other side of the world, nearly as far away as I can be from the most significant relationships in my life at the moment.
My reasoning for my current independence is obviously not completely unfounded. I did definitely really want to come here. It is good to be able to know that you can rely on yourself. That you can survive and look after yourself. That you won`t fall apart if you don`t have your family and your friends around you for support. And because of this experience I have proved to myself that I can do that.
But, people shouldn`t just survive. They should live, and have meaning in their lives. If it just becomes survival through the days - just to prove a point, that you ae strong, and you can survive on your own, then that`s just ridiculous and pointless.
This is definitely not to say, things have got so bad to the extent I am just surviving here, which I am definitely not. As I said I find a lot to stimulate me in my job, (not so much the language teaching, but the opportunity to share my culture is something I find very rewarding).
However, it is the relationships that are a difficulty. Making friends takes timead obviously not everyone you meet at the beginning is such a good friend as you thought they were. People adjust their personalities to a common norm at the beginning – it`s natural of course – to get along with each other. I`m not complaining, I am just wanting something that is not here/ I haven`t found yet.
You need energy to stay in the social loop, energy to not fall out and not miss out on future events. I realise that, and I must keep my energy up.
I`ve concluded from my endless thinking about the meanings in my life, that I have decided to go go home for Christmas. It is starting to feel a terribly long time without my family. I can`t wait to see them – there is so much you miss out on, not being in physical presence with a person, and it is something I feel that I am increasingly missing.
Once the intial serious thought of going home first entered my mind as a serious possibility I think that opened a small gate in my brain that I had been keeping shut, as a “staying happy and on top of life” mechanism. It allowed me to fell, actually, yes, I really do want to be at home now. I don`t know if these feelings had been there for longer, but if I had been thinking them before I didn`t register it. And a good job too because I wouldn`t have enjoyed myself in Japan as much as I have done because half of my mind would have been in England.
Occasionally I feel as though it is giving up, to go home for Christmas. But the very fact I use that very language says something in itself. Giving up on what?? Giving up struggling alone?? If I got to that stage on non-enjoyment there is no point. Whay force myself not to be with my family when that is where Iwant to be?? Why take the difficult path? Should enjoy my relationships, and be with the people I want to be with.
Discovering other cultures is something I am diefinitely keen on, and is a passion of mine, but extended periods of life without people who are important to you is nothing, (or at least unnecessarily difficult).
I might well be idolising home. And of course, I probably am. Of course, Mum and Dad and E and J frustrate me.But, I am happy that I now have a definite plan to go home for Christmas. :-)
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